Broken Britain

It is just sinking in what David Cameron actually said about the recent riots when he appeared on TV...

(We have to remember that there weren't any riots in Wales, Scotland, or even Northern Ireland!)

He said "There are parts of Britain that are not just broken, but quite frankly - sick!"

Yes David - it's the bit called England!

Bear Necessities

That polar bear thing is in the news again.

Just when you might think that a sharp shooting Norwegian gunman might come in handy – there isn’t one around. The incident has queried my pitch as a therapist too. When dealing with post traumatic stress, and intrusive thoughts in particular, I try to convey the idea that the more we try not to think of something, it pushes it’s way in. “Think of a Polar Bear…” I usually start to say, only now… I’m not so sure it is a good example.

Something like this always causes questions over school trips. The danger is that we will overcompensate and refuse to take the school kids walking in the woods for fear of stinging nettles and resulting litigation. On that basis you would have thought Svalbard was quite safe (no stinging nettles).

Before the litigation frenzy squad start banning school outings I think we need to consider the following…

1 - Polar Bears eat people. That’s what they do.

2 - Polar Bears live in Svalbard, and they particularly hate campers it would seem.

3 - Don’t go to Svalbard unless you are prepared to stay in a nice hotel.

The thing is, my niece went to Las Vegas for her school based holiday – so it occurs to me that the parents concerned need to consider moving their child to a different school. Colwyn Bay High School perhaps.

Classical Conditioning

I was walking the dogs this morning at 7.30 am listening to the Radio 4 'Today' programme on my DAB radio.

Evan Davis made two announcements that caused me to have immediate automatic thoughts, experience subsequent emotions and definite physical symptoms.

Firstly he said that Nick Clegg was going to make a statement later today (to which I felt fearful, dismayed and wondered what the bad news was going to be). A few moments later he announced that David Cameron was also going to be making a statement (and to this my immediate reaction was "oh, excellent! - what's the good news going to be?").

Pavlov is alive and well and working for the Tory Party spin doctoring department.

Perhaps the Liberal Democrats need to employ experimental psychologists in their spin doctoring department too. Milgram perhaps. He could get Clegg to electrocute Cameron through the method of making him believe it is the right thing to do...

Oppositional Behaviour

Along with many people this week I was dismayed at the sight of local businesses and hard working shopkeepers surveying the wreckage of their livelihood.

I could not suppress a wry smile, however, at the sight on Sky News of a trashed Sony warehouse and distribution centre in Enfield.

I know that this means hardship for people employed there, but my point is this...

I heard a commentator on Radio 4 this week state that young people and children were involved in the rioting because they had been "raised by computer games and play stations" rather than parents....

So, if their parents do turn out to be the Sony Corporation, could what happened to the company's warehouse in Enfield last weekend be described as 'oppositional behaviour' - or rebellion against their parents - rather than mindless rioting?

Parenting classes for the board members of Sony and Nintendo methinks. Game over!

I Predict a Riot... almost

Back in April 2010 Nick Clegg was clever enough to predict the fact that if the Tories got into power and raised VAT by 20% there would be riots! What he failed to predict, however, was the fact that he would be a member of that Tory Government condoning and supporting said policies.

Not that clever then!

It would appear that technology again shows its power. As with the Arab Spring it seems that Twitter and other social networking sites are playing a huge role in how the rioters are organising themselves and staying one step ahead of the Metropolitan Keystone Cops. Perhaps if the police started using Twitter to communicate with each other they may be able to ditch the current overpriced computer systems , be able to stay updated a bit better and also save some money in order to re-employ some of the more experienced coppers they recently made redundant!

London Riots - Cameron Returns

We have been told on the news for 24 hours now that Prime Minister David Cameron is cutting his holiday short and flying home to the UK. How long does it take to get home from Italy? He needs to change his airline! He could have got home a lot quicker with EasyJet or Ryan Air.

I almost forgot who David Cameron was actually. My theory about this is that it does seem to be David who appears on television to give us good news and talk about inspiring initiatives - while it falls to his Deputy Nick to explain the bad news and apologise for what is going wrong. On the basis of this I realise now why I forgot who David Cameron was.

With regards to the rioters... do these people know nothing about baseball? You are supposed to drop the bat when you run away. Kids today huh?

Swimming With Jellyfish - an explanation

Whenever anyone needs to re-connect with life in the midst of a crisis, or if they are just simply terminally ill, there is often some solace to be found by travelling to New Zealand or Florida in order to go swimming with Dolphins. Apparently it helps to reconnect with the meaning of life and the world.

I can't afford to do that, however, and in the midst of a mid-life crisis I have to resort to the possibility that my only option is to go paddling in Benllech Bay - and go swimming with jellyfish. This is quite ironic I think. It is symbolic of the way that I have to live in this country and put up with all the shite that I see on the news. I find that as I get older I heckle the radio and news programmes more and more, and so have decided to write down my rantings.

It will be partly therapeutic and partly because maybe I will be studied by school children in the future - much as Samuel Pepys was.

I am a grumpy old man who spends time sitting on a settee heckling the news - now I've decided to write my hecklings down in case I die...